i’m your worst nightmare

this is crazy. i can’t even rest & enjoy my week free which is already over (last week)! i think i’m going to burn-out soon. i was thinking of hibernating, but i think a "force-shut-down" would do me better. these days, my cpu resources is 100% in use. hmm… there’s no way i can reduce it. there’s too much work these days. project, labs, weekly online exams, bla bla & bla. i guess i need a more powerful processor and more RAM to keep me going. or else, my cpu resources would reach the "red" danger zone level soon. or maybe, changing O.S. from windows to knoppix would probably help my situation. ha ha ha…what a way to describe "me" in terms of geeky computer terms. ok. sorry. not geeky, but creative.

it seems like nowadays i have to wake up early…most of my classes are conducted in the afternoon, and sometimes late evening…but why bother to get up early in the morning when there’s no morning classes?? as much as i hate waking up early in the morning, i must admit that it is a blessing to get up in the morning and start the day anew~ here’s why:
1. i want to maintain a "normal" sleeping schedule (i used to sleep at 6am, then wake up around 4pm & that’s really bad).
2. i can do more things in the morning (e.g. project research, study, prepare for lecture/lab) than in the afternoon, evening or nite.
3. i’m the notorious "d.r.i.v.e.r." of the house…well not everyday, only on thurdays & fridays…

actually, it’s not too bad to get up early in the morning…it’s fresh & cool in the morning…that’s why…hehe

gosh, i hate being busy!!! the feeling of being so-near-yet-so-far from the one i love is driving me crazy…*sigh*…i know it sounds sad and lovey-dovey kinda stuff…but i really can’t help it because my blog is where i express everything…*sigh again*…uhm…yea…nothing else to write about except of how i’m feeling now…*sigh again and again*…

actually, i’m so *daym bored now… =S

i woke up, and thought, "what a strange dream i had!" hmm…i’m not going into the details, because… the dream i had last nite was really really really weird. haha. anyway, it’s tuesday today. i gotta complete some stuff today. however, i feel like my days are kinda…messed up. hmm. i need to design a proper daily schedule so that i’ll always be on time for "things"; CC352, NSD304, NE304 & The Grid Project. erm…and of course, not forgetting my friends and my beloved dear… i won’t let this semester to swallow me; i’ll swallow the semester up!

i must say that…this semester is so much more busier for me, compared to my previous semester! gosh, the workload is kinda heavy despite the fact that my classes timetable is very light. ok. most of the workload comes from home. hmm. don’t get me wrong. i’m working on my final semester project at home, so i spend most of my time doing extensive research online. and it never seems to be enough. i need more resources, e-books, papers, articles, etc. i’m still kinda blur & confused on how The Grid works. hmm. the part which i’m confused is the technical part; how the GT4 works, whether an external middleware can be integrated with GT4, whether we need to write codes…oh yes, and most importantly, how to install programs in Linux-based OS! installing software in Linux-based OS is so very cumber- & trouble-some. not to mention that i’m just an average windows user, but just a command-line Linux user. haha. how ironic. no, not really. i used to like windows, but now i’m beginning to like Linux…or rather Knoppix! hehe, and i just recalled having downloaded something via BitComet. my network security lecturer told us to download the Knoppix LiveCD from the internet and reminded us to bring it to the lab session last friday. well, having located the official Knoppix website, i downloaded it. It took me roughly around 4 hours to download the 700MB file. when i test-run it, to my surprise, the Knoppix version that i downloaded wasn’t English! omg. how could i be such a noob??? according to suresh, my Knoppix version is GERMAN. lmao. haha. i actually downloaded the latest Knoppix 5.0 GERMAN version. cool. but suresh found a way to view it in English. "knoppix lang=en", that’s all that i gotta type when Knoppix boots up. *why didn’t i realize it was GERMAN in the first place? &@#%$^(* hahahahaha…so much for the laughter.

i guess i’ll be doing those for now…it’s time to get busy!

hmm…mr. waseem assigned my project group to "The GRID". it’s a very interesting research topic, but very challenging topic too, i must say. hmm…i’ll have hell of fun during my final semester here in curtin. yeah, bring it ON!!!

to those who’s wondering what’s "The GRID" about, check out this interactive website:

http://gridcafe.web.cern.ch/gridcafe/

i would like to say thanks to my friends and cousin who commented in my previous blog entry. thank you all. it was really helpful & soothing. my "bad phase" has passed, now i’m in my "cheerful phase".

p/s it wasn’t worth getting sensitive over something petty, so i’m going to "flush" the previous blog entry along with all negativities in it. done. phew…..~

i’m really convinced that i’m over-sensitive these days! (as much as i hate to admit it) *damn*. i’m really feeling that something’s missing. REALLY MISSING. something’s reducing as well. something’s changed. changed? not really. i don’t think so. i choose not to believe it. it’ll take time to realize it. don’t even mention about time. because, I’M IMPATIENT. i just don’t feel *&#%$#$&)# anymore. yes, you are so-so-so right. I AM PISSED-OFF!!! *aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

***before i start throwing tantrums, someone…please calm me down.

hmm…my shoulders’ are really tired these days…can’t figure out why…i’ve rested enough after reading my online lecture notes, but it still hurts…sigh…wish i could reduce the amount of stress on my shoulders…

Ok…the start of this semester is rather interesting for all of us BTech noobs. Why? Because our semester hasn’t started yet, it will start officially in 2 weeks’ time! Well, now we have our NSD304 lecturer, Mr. Rabi, who just arrived a few days ago. A very nice fellow I must say, quite soft-spoken and gentle. Another lecturer will be arriving next week, Mr. Kelvin, our CC352 lecturer. So, why is it that I say that our semester will officially start within 2 weeks’ time?

Hopefully, this semester would be a memorable semester (gosh I hate programming!) for me before I graduate (hopefully!).